If you’ve been a parent for longer than five minutes, someone has probably told you to enjoy every moment. They mean it kindly. But in the middle of a 3am feed, or a toddler meltdown in a supermarket, or a relentless stretch of grey, exhausted days — the advice can feel less like comfort and more like a quiet accusation.
You should be enjoying this. Why aren’t you enjoying this?
Here’s the truth: not every moment of parenting is enjoyable. Some of it is hard in ways that catch you off guard. Some of it is mundane in a way you didn’t expect. Some of it is lonely, or scary, or simply relentless in a way that leaves no room for the kind of soft-lit gratitude everyone seems to be experiencing online.
And all of that is normal.
What people mean — and what they miss
When someone tells you to enjoy every moment, they are almost always speaking from a distance. They’ve moved through the thick of it. They’ve forgotten the hard parts — not because those parts weren’t real, but because memory is selective and time is kind.
What they’re really trying to say is: it goes fast. And that part is true. But it can go fast and be hard at the same time. Those two things aren’t in conflict.
The gift of honest memory-keeping
One of the most valuable things you can do during a difficult season of parenting is to write about it — not just the beautiful parts, but the real ones. Not to dwell, but to witness your own experience honestly.
Because one day, when your child is older and struggling with something hard, the most reassuring thing you might be able to say is: I remember when it was hard for me too. And it got easier. That kind of honesty is a gift — to them and to yourself.
Give yourself permission to find it difficult. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you actually feel. And know that the love underneath it all is not diminished by the hard days. It is, in many ways, made more real by them.
Nestling Notes is a space to capture all of it — the beautiful and the honest. Because the full story is the one worth keeping.